When you feel less than fierce...

First, allow me to share a universal professional truth with you and the world: Agents get rejections too. Many agents also have writing aspirations of their own. They entered this industry as a way to help people reach their dreams because they understand how hard it is to maintain a professional writing career alone. They long to be a part of your process, a helping hand on your journey. But writing agents, like me, also have to manage their own dreams.

There are no favorites in publishing. It's all about the book. Is it marketable? Will there be a high chance for success? Does the author have a strong platform?

It's hard. Hard for us on both sides. For me personally, I feel the sting of rejection every time one of my clients receives one. Ouch. I really had high hopes for that one. On top of that, I receive rejections on my own books. Almost daily, negativity whispers, "Just give up." Sometimes that voice seeps into our very being, crippling our ability to feel brave. 

I visited my beautiful cousin, whom I rarely see, the other day. She has been managing a popular makeup store for many years, and she gifted me with some products. I found myself asking her advice on application. It felt like we were teenagers again, sitting on the bed playing with makeup. She gave me two bright colored lipsticks. If you know me, you know that I don't wear a lot of makeup and certainly not lipstick. I usually use a tinted lip balm, but as I held those lovely colors in my hand, I confessed to her and to myself that I've never been brave enough to wear bright lipstick. I love it on other people, but every time I've ever tried, I always felt like a fraud. Like it doesn't belong on me. I can't pull off that type of BRAVE.

Lies. 

Somewhere along the line, I've bought into the lie that I'm not capable of succeeding with my own writing efforts. I have always found it easy to be someone else's champion, fighting relentlessly for my clients and for works of other people, but when it comes to my own, I'm timid and unsure. I'm slightly tinted lip balm when I want to be bright, beautiful, confident lipstick.

So, today, when I was feeling especially un-fierce, I painted it on. My first step to feeling brave.

Regain Your Fierce

• Forget your feelings. Your feelings will ruin your mood, your relationships, and your purpose if you let them. YOU have control of your thoughts and your moods. 
• Journal your heart. It's okay to let yourself vent, but be careful to vent in the appropriate manner. A journal is the perfect place to allow your heart to bleed on the page. Life hurts, but words are a writer's best friend. 
• Pray and meditate on truth. Here's the truth, my friend. You are beautiful, you are intelligent, you are beloved, and you are FULLY equipped to do what you are called to do.
• Practice bravery. It will not come over night, and it will never stay. Just like my lipstick exercise today, we have to find ways to express bravery until bravery comes naturally. And when we suddenly realize it's gone again, we must wrangle the courage to step out once more. Paint your lips, send that book out again, and give it your all!
• Surround yourself with people who believe in you. Let me preface this by saying that not everyone who believes in you will always make you feel good. Sometimes they will tell you where you're struggling, but it comes from a place of love and a genuine interest in your success. If someone is correcting you (grammar, plot, life, behavior, or otherwise) think on what he/she is saying and pray about how or if you should apply it. We are all here to help each other, and sometimes the greatest kindness our loved ones can give us is telling us when something isn't right before the world screams it at us. 
  • There will also be people around you who you feel should support you but don't. This hurts, but don't allow that hurt to move you to react. Instead, remember that we are all human and are not capable of doing everything. Chances are, that person is struggling with their own bravery and dreams and is having trouble being there for you. 
• Don't listen to the naysayers. This goes without explanation, but this world has groomed us for negativity. Many people are thoughtless with words, especially online, and often take out their frustrations on others through bad reviews and hateful comments. Hint: Don't read reviews. Seriously. 
• Do what makes you feel good when you feel bad. They say that people who work with their minds play with their hands, and people who work with their hands play with their minds. Since I work with my mind, I enjoy going outside and working in my yard, and I like to do crafty stuff like crocheting and quilting. When you need a refresher, do something fun.
• Don't be afraid to be raw with people. They will respect you for it. Writing this blog post is me being raw. I have no desire to sugarcoat reality, paint it with pretty flowers and pretend that life feels great every day. It doesn't. It's hard sometimes to refocus on the truth, but writing and sharing it with others really helps. When I sat down to write this post, I wasn't thinking about whose eyes would be reading it. All I knew is that I needed some tips to kindly guide me back to truth, so I wrote them. For you and for me.

Next time you're feeling stuck in the pit of rejection, remember the millions of amazing people who are standing next to you. Every single successful person you've ever known has stood in your shoes. Want to know what success looks like? It looks like a road paved with rejection letters that ends with your destiny. Every "no" is one more step towards your "yes." 

Take a step with me? I promise to hold you up, should you stumble, if you'll promise to do the same. We're all in this together--from every aspect of the industry.

Breathe some life-giving words into someone today. ❤

---